Mara the Sorceress
<"okay, lets start at the top."
<"do you know why youre here?"
"Because you suck at your job?"
>the odd looking succubus practically hissed before glaring at you wantingly
>almost as if expecting you to keep going
>instead you simply shrugged
<"Do you know who I am?"
"You're that Alp in charge o-"
<"I am not an Alp! Do you see which way my horns go?!"
>you couldnt help but grin
"Sorry, its just that you have a lot of Alp like features an-"
<"Mr. Incog, look Anon…look. Youre here because the agency has basically lost our patience with you."
<"Its been two years and instead of ending up married youve managed instead to completely maladapt Mara. She's practically the worse case I-"
>you had heard conspiracies about the placement program and agency before
>it being an excuse by Mamono to secure a bigger foothold in this realm and get tons of single guys married off under the claim that it was for "cultural" learning
>like a student exchange program, but oddly only for marriagable aged men and mamono
>but to hear it from someone who worked there was a surprise, though not unexpected
<"Look. This is serious. What the fuck did you do to her?"
"What, did something happen? Is she okay?"
>you couldnt help the slight panic that jumped through you
>sure you fucked with Mara on occasion, but it was in legitimately good fun
>nothing hurtful or coldhearted
>just 24/7 goofing around kind of stuff
>it wasnt your fault she was so gullible
<"She nearly gave me an aneurysm,"
>your face screwed up in confusion
<"Mara is special. She's one of the only sorceresses around that cast tier nine destruction spells on account of… Well you know."
>all you could do was nod, you did know
>despite the stipend for housing her or even loan forgiveness, you were still paying off random property damage and having to fix things that she occasionally broke
<"So when at the recent guild meeting she began to regail my mother with insane claims o- Meredith!"
<"Meredith! What was the particular one again?"
>a intercom above you squawked loudly
That this world used to be in black in white till the invention of color
>you snorted loudly, fighting to contain yourself
>the woman scowled at you, shooting you a look that could kill
>you had told Mara that, and so much more
>it was just good fun
>anything that was actually dangerous you made sure to stress was dangerous
>anything that didnt matter though, that was fair game for fuckery
<"at first I though she was joking but she elaborated, that that was why old television shows were in black and white."
>you nodded sagely
"She's right you know."
<"You know she isnt!"
<"Thats not even the worst part. Everything. Practically everything she knows is wrong."
>for the last two years you had done your finest work
>there had been points where you worried and felt you should stop, but curiosity to see how much further you could go had egged you on
>mankinds greatest space achievement? Landing on the sun of course, but it had to be done at night though
>eat watermelon seeds and they'd sprout inside you
>city sanitation workers were specially trained in anti-crocodile martial arts due to the infestation of them in the sewers
>meterologists? They took wind samples in trash bags every morning to study and determine the weather for the day
>magic smoke is what powered all electronic devices. After the magic smoke escaped one, did it ever work again?
<"Artists were insane which is why they painted in color? I cant believe you've done this!"
>you could help but snigger as a grin broke out across your face
>the succubus simply pinched at her nose again, groaning before throwing herself out of her chair
<"you know what. Whatever. All I want to know is how."
"Well, she is kind of gulli-"
<"No. Not that! I know that, we all know that!"
<"why hasnt she claimed you yet?!"
>her eyes were furious and curious at the same time as she stood before you
"Oh that. I told her I was cursed by an evil witch."
"That it uh… It was stolen."
<"it was stolen?"
>a fearful and confused look played over her face for a moment before mouthing the phrase a few times
<"y-youre the reason she des-"
> it was true. It was your fault
>it had become a bit of problem lately, but had started as a slight annoyance
>she had propositioned you, rather than renege you had given the gullible a silly offhanded answer
>So she had then destroyed a local feminist meetup and proceeded to forcibly expose them to raw demon energy
>then you had been propositioned again
>and much like toad at the end of a particular trying level you had to break the bad news
>"Im sorry Mara, but the evil witch who stole my cock is somewhere else. You'll have to try again."
>So this cycle had gone on for awhile, causing Mara to gain a certain level of political clout for her anti-women views among the Demon faction who competed for the Maou's favor
>the succubus let out an exhausted sigh, burying her face in her hands
<"what the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all."
>you shrugged, leaning back in your chair while she peeled her face from her hands
"What was a supposed to do? Hey lady who just moved into my house by a questionable government who Ive known for less than a week, youre right. I should let you suck my co-"
<"youve been denying her for that long!?"
"I had just met her. What, should I have just dropped my pants and let it happen?"
<"thats… Thats abuse. Youve bee-"
"I have not. That is not abuse! We arent married, she just lives with me okay!? And what, dont lecture me. A week in? Thats not long enough to fall in l- hey, what are you doing?"
>you stop your near rant as you watch the odd succubus begin to wave her hands about as an odd prismatic glow began to take hold
>theres a pop like fingers snapping and everything goes white
<"Are you okay hubby?"
>you could only groan in response to Mara as she attempted to rouse you
>a serious of pulleys and counterweights held your legs at a low angle to help keep pressure off of your hips
>a scaled claw touched at your face tenderly as her face invaded your vision
"You dont have to keep waking me whenever you come to check on me,"
<"I know. I just like hearing your voice and looking into your eyes."
>both of your faces burned as the two of you stared into each others eyes
>had this silly dragon's eyes always been such an alluring deep purple?
<"it sure was nice of that Alp lady to find your bits and defeat that evil woman."
>you couldnt help but grin, the claim that earth side Alps and Lilum had horns reversed from normal had apparently still stuck
<"I love you Anon, sorry about your hips."
"I love you too hun."